Biplab Deb Uninterrupted

When Tripura voters inked their index fingers on February 18 to elect their public representatives, little did they know they were in for exciting times.

Decades of Marxist rule had made them averse to continuity and they were sick and tired of their fellow countrymen post pictures on social media of their chief minister Manik Sarkar as 'poorest CM' and patronisingly talk about his austere, Gandhian ways.

It was like having to make do with a daily 'healthy' diet of rice gruel or oats, while the rich aroma of biryani wafted into their homes from neighbourhood during lunch and dinner times.

It was becoming a bit too jarring and they thought they would rather have a more Epicurean leader who would bring 'development' to their sedate and dour existence. 

Although Tripura has a high literacy rate, the state lacks job opportunities and hence the problem of unemployment is very high. Moreover for the educated class there are only government jobs to aspire for, as there is little private investment. 

The images they used to see on television screens of technological strides made in distant metros of Delhi, Bangalore or Mumbai, symbolised by spanking steel and glass structures housing technology parks and shopping malls, was too alluring.

Hence when Prime Minister came calling and during his campaign tour dangled a new acronym 'Hira' - "H for highway, I for Internet way, R for roadways and A for airways", many began daydreaming that an El Dorado was around the corner.

Few days later the verdict came. And needless to say it was stunning. It was as Oscar Wilde once said "There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."

The early days were quite heady. The symbols of previous regime, the statues of Karl Marx and other Communist vestiges were pulled down with gusto.

A tall, youthful looking chief minister Biplab Deb, the youngest one in the state, with a sartorial taste that would make costume designer of Dharma productions proud, was sworn in.

This former gym instructor was always seen in his customary ethnic chic wedding guest attire, right up to dupatta. He gave the impression that at any moment he may shake a leg or two to a wedding song we see in Sooraj Barjatya or Karan Johar films.

It was a breath of fresh air for Tripura voters, especially the young ones, who were tired of chief ministers who looked like ancient pensioners and failed in providing them jobs.

True to his flamboyant style within one month of swearing-in he made a blockbuster opening.

He claimed that internet and satellite communication existed in the days of Mahabharata. "Internet and satellite system had existed during the lakhs of years ago. How could Dhritarashtra see through Sanjay's eyes? There was technology available at that time... Internet was there, satellite communication was there."

To be fair this is not the first time a politician has tried to airbrush our ancient puranas and myths to make them look advanced and tech savvy. This trend of waxing eloquent about our glorious past, which was later 'ruined' by Muslim and British invaders, has always been there among the political and intellectual class. But of late it has seen a spike with leaders of Biplab's own party in the forefront.

They have been spinning yarns regarding ancient India's technological strides in areas such as aviation and plastic surgery. However this was probably the first time someone has credited our ancestors with a large footprint in digital technology.

Barely had the social media and twitterati done with cracking up over Deb's remarks, through memes and one-liners, he fired his next salvo. This of course revealed his exclusivist mindset honed up during his long drawn association with RSS.

He remarked that Diana Hayden is not an Indian beauty, while Aishwarya Rai is, thereby revealing his aversion for brown skin and minorities. This ruffled many feathers among the feminist and anti-fairness cream activists.

Next he waded into another controversy while commenting on the vexing problem of high number of educated unemployed, who had in fact rallied behind his party during elections.

His first remark sounded like a trite PJ. What should civil engineers do? Join the civil services. Mechanical engineers do not fit the bill and hence should not venture into it.

At a different event he chided the youth for running after politicians to get government jobs and advised them to seek self-employment instead. Nothing wrong in that, but the choices he offered made many cringe – rear cows or sell paan.

Barring his own party men, who were left red faced and seething, his remarks vigorously tickled social media’s funny bone.

Then came the parting shot against those trying to attack his government. "When I was young... people used to say if it's government property, you can do anything you want with it... just as you do to a lauki. A vegetable seller brings fresh lauki to the bazaar at 8 am. By 9 am that lauki gathers so many nail marks, it cannot be sold. You either have to feed it to a cow at the bazaar or take it back home. My government cannot be like that, no one can leave nail marks on it. Whoever leaves nail marks, their nails will be cut," he said.

For Tripura residents it's truly nail biting days ahead, wondering where next will their boisterous leader train his loose cannon.

Also Read: Bangalore Short Takes

For Whom The Bell Trolls

Fresh from a thumping win in the 2014 general elections and on his maiden visit to the US after becoming Prime Minister, Narendra Modi suffered a Freudian slip while regaling the fawning NRI audience at Madison Square. He referred to fellow Gujarati Mahatma Gandhi as 'Mohanlal' Karamchand Gandhi. Hailing from an organisation not favourably disposed towards Mahatma's brand of politics, it was quite understandable, even though 'Mohandas' is neither difficult to recall nor a tongue twister.

His 'Mohanlal' gaffe didn’t create much of a flutter elsewhere, but it did ring a bell and drew light hearted titters in the deep south of the Vindhyas, where an actor by that name enjoys super star status and even has a fans' association. Mohanlal carries his plus size frame with rare agility and  elan. And his dialogue delivery, especially the punch lines, are always lustily lapped up by his first-day-first-show fans.

Now two years down the line Modi's path once again crossed with Mohanlal and it is anything but light hearted.  This time it was one of those one-liners, of nearly two-decades vintage, that has morphed into a hashtag #pomonemodi and set off a Twitter-tsunami.

It looked more like a poetic justice. Because it is the Hindutva keypad warriors who were notorious for running down their opponents by posting nasty comments and trolling was considered their forte. But now Modi was getting a taste of his own medicine.

During his whistle stop tour of poll-bound Kerala, he remarked that the condition of Adivasis in Kerala was akin to that of people in Somalia. This badly ruffled the Malayali ego, which takes pride in its enviable Human Development Index, which is on par with Scandinavian countries.

However, it needs to be pointed out that the HDI among Adivasis in Kerala is not as impressive as its general population and leaves a lot to be desired. The governmental apathy and agricultural distress at the state's tribal belts have taken a heavy toll on their well being. But even then they are much better off than Adivasis in other states.

Modi's remark sparked off an unprecedented mobilisation of Malayalees on Twitter. Even those who had settled down elsewhere in the country or abroad decades ago, used to berate Mallu accent and were dismissive about the state in general, they too got galvanised to join the Twitter hashtag bandwagon and fire 140-character salvos at Modi.

The type of humour ranged from light hearted sarcasm, often accompanied by memes; some disputed Modi's claim using graphics, but some even got into the avoidable territory of racism, making fun of dark skin of Africans.

The popularity of this hashtag led to a counter hashtag #pomonechandi but with limited success, and a wag exhorted them to try something more original "like #solargirigiri or some such thing" to highlight the infamous solar scam for which the current Oommen Chandy government is drawing lot of flak.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Lessons From Bihar Election

Cows may be worshipped in the country, but there is a limit to milking it for votes, especially when prices of various dals (an inherent part of our staple diet) refuse to scale below three digits!!

A wise man once said there are three kinds of lies - lies, damned lies and statistics. Numbers buttressed by algorithms can be quite beguiling and some of our poll pundits fell for it and singed their hard earned credibility, built over the years, in minutes. If jumped the gun. Then be ready to have some crow on your menu!

Dog may be man’s best friend and probably the first animal to be domesticated. But our loyal follower always got the raw deal. It was used as an invective to shame and abuse the rivals. Familiarity they say breeds contempt.

To win elections all parties try to field ‘winnable’ candidates – those with money and muscle power, with few criminal cases thrown in at various police stations. This may cause heartburn among the sincere and dedicated party workers, but this unfortunately is part of realpolitik. Just grin and bear it.

Pakistan, our twin brother, is also seen as a place to dump those with a perceived low patriotism quotient (read non-conformism to majoritarian agenda). Thankfully it is confined to jingoistic sloganeering. The fact of the matter is that almost everybody in our country day dreams of green card!!

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Pollscape Lexicon

The high decibel nine-phase General elections is finally drawing to a close and over the period many political leaders and activists through their foot in mouth antics have enriched the political lexicon. In addition, the lengthening shadow of social media over our lives and the political hashtag jousts have only added another dimension to it.

ABCD: The baby steps taken by children as a prelude to rote learning is not all that simple and bland. In adept hands it could be loaded with vitriol.

Chanta lagaa..: In our notoriously unsafe-for-women public spaces some high-profile women Lok Sabha candidates had to sometimes take matters in their hands to avoid getting groped.

Empowerment: Though this ennobling term was used by Rahul Gandhi as a substitute for loss of words, the fact remains our society actually needs large doses of it.

Honeymoon: Coming from the mouth of a professed brahmachari and yoga guru who makes his followers rub nails to kill time and reduce anxiety over hair loss, it had a ugly fallout of rubbing the Dalit community wrong way.

RSVP: You might have heard about the term, but never bothered to know what it stood for, barring those who had French as their second language in college. But now this four-letter acronym is drawing acrimonious responses.

Selfie: This platform for narcissism was put to use by all and sundry to brag their 'inked' fingers. Suddenly it became cool to vote, whatever it takes. Wonder whether the citizenry will show the same zeal in acting against trespasses of elected representatives and incumbent government.

Slapgate: When any aam aadmi decides to have a go at the political leaders, especially those who had shunned SPG/NSG paraphernalia.

Wave: At present the definition is as varied as breakers on any sea coast and dependent on his or her political conviction. But May 16 will choose only one of them.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

My Tryst With EVM

Finally, after nearly a decade and half long hiatus I went ahead to exercise my franchise. Don’t remember when I actually last voted. Those were pre-EVM days and the shaky 90s - the days of Chandrashekhar, Deve Gowda and I K Gujral, when central governments were unsteady and elections used to happen even before the indelible ink on the fingers could fade away.

Later frequent relocation and sheer apathy to register myself as a voter in those cities kept me away from polling booths. However this time the numerous campaign to register as voters goaded me to get 'inked' for election. After many trips to the election office I managed to get a voter id card.

While on my way to the polling station I happened to come across some party helpdesks with lots of eager faces to assist me locate my serial number and booth number. Some of the desks even had laptops, quite a far cry from the 90s when they were not even heard of. But nowadays they seemed very discreet in displaying their party affiliations, thanks to more proactive election commission.

After finding my name and getting a slip mentioning the serial number and booth number, the guy said, "Sir please vote for BJP and Modi." Till then I had no idea as to which party's helpdesk it was. Moreover he didn't even bother to mention who the local BJP party candidate was. All got swept under NaMo frenzy!

For me this election was my first tryst with EVM, so it gave me a similar kind of thrill I had while using an ATM for the first time more than a decade ago. While approaching the polling station I saw a queue of about 25 persons but on reaching there it became apparent that it was not meant for me and the booth I was supposed to vote had no queue. The polling officials seemed relieved on seeing me.

Upon producing my voter's ID and signing a list the indelible ink was put on my left thumb. The polling official was too generous regarding ink and it soon cascaded all the way to the tip of my thumb. In short, it was no way photogenic enough to be flaunted as 'ink finger selfie' on Facebook. In fact I thought if I post the picture, I may invite 'get well soon' messages, as it looked more like a blood clot on a finger that got caught on the wrong end of a door!

Then I was asked to move to the enclosure where the EVM was placed. The list seemed quite long enough, had no idea there were so many candidates in fray, only two or three names seemed familiar. After spotting the candidate name I wanted to vote for I pressed the button next to it. It gave off a beep and later the polling official told me it was over.

Relieved of having done an onerous duty without delays and goof ups I went home and eagerly tracked the turnout in my city Bangalore with that of others. Sad to say that though it was an improvement from its 2009 tally, it may have disappointed the numerous NGOs and other organisations who worked tirelessly to boost voter turnout.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

AAP Effect: Brooms' Point of View

We have always been looked down upon by all Indians as we are involved in keeping surroundings clean, something that figures very low in their priority list. And it shows when you take a stroll down the streets and bazaars of the country. 

Though we have become redundant in the West due to technological advances and scientific methods of garbage collection and disposal, in India we continue to be the front line weapon of the hapless civic workers and housemaids, whose status in the society is no better than ours.

There are many superstitions associated with us. It’s considered inauspicious if we happen to be the first thing people see in the morning. We are supposed to get attached to the house where we sweep, hence if people are moving house, they don’t take us along. And of course there are long standing beliefs linking us with witchcraft (those scrawny evil creatures with long nails supposedly use us to fly!), which spans many cultures and religions.

So when Aam Aadmi Party decided to make us their election symbol we all were quite literally 'swept' off our feet. Political parties in order to show their sympathies towards working class had eagerly chosen symbols such as plough, hammer, sickle etc. But they never touched the lowly broom even with a barge pole. Because those who wielded us belong to lowliest of the low category among workers, what is politely called 'unroganised sector'. AAP decided to make us their symbol as we denoted 'dignity of labour'.

We saw AAP partymen with amusement. They were a youthful lot and seemed like a bunch of a college troupe enacting a drama on freedom struggle, because they were always seen with Gandhi topi. But in order to steer clear from the derogatory connotations it had acquired in independent India, they had mein hoon aam aadmi printed on it.

It was indeed thrilling to feel the soft touch (unlike civic worker's weather beaten hands) of techies, former IAS officers, bankers, IITians, lawyers, B-school alumni and members from all walks of Indian society, who wielded us with pride, as if we were swords. At AAP rallies we began having a pride of place.

All this gave us a heady feeling, but we were little edgy about the party's future. Most of the partymen had cut their political milk teeth with India Against Corruption movement. But organising an agitation and going through the rough and tumble of elections was something as starkly different as playing Farmville and wielding the actual plough. Moreover the party did not have the blessings of the patriarch of anti-corruption crusade - Anna Hazare. He saw politics as an irredeemable cesspool and was disinclined towards joining it.

Media saw AAP as an airy fairy group of trollers who would never make a splash beyond the confines of social media and coffee shops. This dismissive attitude continued till some opinion poll findings in the run up to Delhi assembly elections began trickling in. Even then Arvind Kejriwal's move to contest against incumbent chief minister Shiela Dikshit was seen as tad ambitious, if not foolhardy.

The rest they say is history and the resulting power shifts after the election verdict catapulted AAP into Delhi's gaddi, albeit as a minority government. Now for them the new challenge is of running an accountable government. It calls for a different skill set and there are umpteen examples in Indian politics of parties and leaders who had came to power on reformist platform and street battles, but proved total misfits when it came to governance.

How AAP will perform as a government is in the realm of speculation and not for lowly creatures like us to comment on. We leave this to the rarefied world of TV studios to do the honours. But AAP's one-year long road to electoral politics is indeed dotted with many milestones. It did prove that elections can be fought using shoestring budget and clean money. It is possible to groom a bunch of self made leaders, who don't have pedigree, caste or money power wired in their DNAs. All this was against the grain of how Indian politics was being practiced and shook off the man on the street's from his sab chor hain mental stupor vis-a-vis politics and politicians.

Lastly our chests puff up with pride for the fact that we too are part of this 'sweeping' reform in a humble way and hope this would somehow improve the living conditions of those who wield us to make a living.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Contours of Naya Pakistan

These are heady times for Pakistan. For the first time since independence, the country managed to carry out a democratic transition from one government to another. It's truly an important milestone for the turmoil-ridden country, often in news for wrong reasons.

Even in the recently concluded elections the electorate had to brave Taliban threat, bomb blasts and other forms of violence. To their credit they turned out in large numbers and it was indeed a resounding setback to militant groups, who had dubbed elections and the democratic process itself as un-Islamic.

In the run up to polls a hung assembly was predicted by many pollsters. However as the elections neared Nawaz Sharif emerged as frontrunner. For this steel tycoon turned politician it is indeed a sweet revenge from being ingloriously ousted from power in a coup in 1999, by the then General Pervez Musharraf. The wily general too had put his hat on the electoral ring, but his dreams got short circuited by the ghosts of his misdeeds as military ruler. The Pakistani Supreme Court ensured that he remained entangled in court cases, rather than court the electorate.

Sharif belongs to a family of steel mill owners and entered politics as a protege of General Zia-ul-Haq. It is said that his main motivation to join politics was nationalisation of steel plants by Zulfikar Ali Bhutto. Those days nationalisation was considered quite cool; in India too Indira Gandhi had nationalised banks.

His last tenure was marked with the dramatic bus diplomacy with India, which generated lot of euphoria on both sides and was equated with subcontinent's 'Berlin wall' moment. But unfortunately the thaw was short lived and got undone by a war on the icy heights of Kargil. This time around also Sharif has put peace with India a top priority, and one can only hope it does not get scuttled. The sub continent is home to people with one of the lowest per capita income and abysmal social indicators and hence can ill afford fratricidal conflicts.

This election also witnessed the emergence of cricketer-turned-politician Imran Khan out of fringes to become a major force. He caught the popular imagination of the public, especially the middle class and the youth and drew huge crowds during his public meetings. Though he promised to generate a 'tsunami' during the hustings, his party Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf failed to reach anywhere near the tally of Sharif's party. However, it will be wrong to dismiss him as 'storm in a teacup' (as some critics had done) because he managed to strongly undercut the ruling PPP's voter base.

Moreover, his PTI managed to emerge as single largest party at Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, a province ridden with Taliban militancy. His strong anti-US stance and promise to end drone attacks has paid rich dividends. But it remains to be seen how his party is going to deliver on such promises.

The biggest loser of this election was the ruling Pakistan People's Party. The anti-incumbency and lack of a charismatic leader like late Benazir Bhutto has cost the party dear. It entered the poll fray with hardly any zest and seemed gripped by a death wish right from the word go. Even many of its prominent leaders had to bite the dust in the elections.

 Also Read: Bangalore Beat