IRCTC: We don't need no reservation ...

I vaguely remember a Reader's Digest joke in pre-IRCTC days, which was as follows: A foreigner goes to a railway reservation counter in India and said, "Excuse me if it is possible" ... Before he could finish the sentence the clerk interrupted, "In this world everything is possible". But when the foreigner asked for a ticket for a particular destination and date he said, "Oh on that date it is not possible."

A good number of train travellers may now be shunning the queues before railway booking counters, but their interface with IRCTC site no way makes their lives easier. The moment we log on to www.irctc.co.in the only icon that gets going is that of buffering with a message 'Connecting...'. During peak hours, especially when the Tatkal guys are hogging the bandwidth, it acts like the cyber world equivalent of Chinese torture.

The speed with which the IRCTC site loads makes me wonder whether the data packets are being transferred using Railway Parcel Service! Getting the 'plan my travel' page to load is not for the faint hearted. You should count yourself lucky if you attain your Abracadabra or khul-ja-sim-sim moment at 16th or 17th attempt.

But then it is not even half the battle. You need a nimble set of fingers to type in the station codes and passenger names. If the number of vacant seats is above hundred you stand some chance, otherwise its as likely as India winning world cup football.

After making the bookings the path through payment gateway to your bank account or credit card authentication is fraught with all kinds of dangers and you have to wait with baited breath and a prayer on your lips. Minefields such as 'service unavailable' and 'you have timed out' lie in wait to strike at the most unsuspecting and crucial moments.

Once you clear the payment getaway, take a hard look at the booked berths, whether they match with the preferences you had mentioned while booking. IRCTC often reserves its most lethal googlies at this step. If you have booked a berth for a senior citizen with lower berth as preference, chances are that he or she may get top or side upper berth! Or if you have booked for 4-5 persons, chances are that a couple of them may end in a different compartment.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Pollscape Lexicon

The high decibel nine-phase General elections is finally drawing to a close and over the period many political leaders and activists through their foot in mouth antics have enriched the political lexicon. In addition, the lengthening shadow of social media over our lives and the political hashtag jousts have only added another dimension to it.

ABCD: The baby steps taken by children as a prelude to rote learning is not all that simple and bland. In adept hands it could be loaded with vitriol.

Chanta lagaa..: In our notoriously unsafe-for-women public spaces some high-profile women Lok Sabha candidates had to sometimes take matters in their hands to avoid getting groped.

Empowerment: Though this ennobling term was used by Rahul Gandhi as a substitute for loss of words, the fact remains our society actually needs large doses of it.

Honeymoon: Coming from the mouth of a professed brahmachari and yoga guru who makes his followers rub nails to kill time and reduce anxiety over hair loss, it had a ugly fallout of rubbing the Dalit community wrong way.

RSVP: You might have heard about the term, but never bothered to know what it stood for, barring those who had French as their second language in college. But now this four-letter acronym is drawing acrimonious responses.

Selfie: This platform for narcissism was put to use by all and sundry to brag their 'inked' fingers. Suddenly it became cool to vote, whatever it takes. Wonder whether the citizenry will show the same zeal in acting against trespasses of elected representatives and incumbent government.

Slapgate: When any aam aadmi decides to have a go at the political leaders, especially those who had shunned SPG/NSG paraphernalia.

Wave: At present the definition is as varied as breakers on any sea coast and dependent on his or her political conviction. But May 16 will choose only one of them.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat