Thursday 8 December 2016

Rs 100: A National Treasure


I am one of those who has been labelled as 'also ran' in the currency pantheon and command little respect - either from users or even counterfeiters.

Though I had seen better days in 1970s, when average salaries used to be less than Rs 1,000, or even earlier period when average salaries were few hundred rupees, but all that is history and seems too Harappan to draw any comfort or feel inspired by recalling them.

Ever since I have been smarting under the shadow of my wealthier and much sought after cousins - Rs 500 and Rs 1,000 and relegated to the loose change category, clubbed with lesser mortals like Rs 50 or Rs 10 in the currency hierarchy.

I am not tempting enough to make a policeman wink at traffic infractions nor am I greasy enough for the palms of sundry babus to move files in various government offices.

Thanks to inflationary pressures, my purchasing capacity is so depleted that I cannot help my bearer buy a kilogram of toor dal. Think of it once upon a time (pardon my self pity) I could help a family buy a month's provisions.

However, all changed, changed utterly (my apologies to W.B. Yeats) on November 8. Those who used to hold me reluctantly due to my low denomination and tendency to bloat up their wallets, began to treasure and even hoard me.

On the other hand my wealthier cousins suddenly suffered a total meltdown of their worth. Many of them who were well ensconced in the high security safes and piggy banks for months and years were all hurriedly removed and shipped off to banks and illegal currency changers for exchange or deposit, and ultimately to RBI shredders.

To me it was a mixed feeling. The sudden newfound interest and attention gave me a heady feeling, but I also began feeling sorry for the wealthier peers who got abruptly evicted and packed off to oblivion. It made me feel philosophic about the transitory nature of power and glory.

Though basking in euphoria I was a bit perturbed when I heard about the proposed currency of Rs 2,000 denomination and felt that my new found acceptance would be a short lived one.

My concern got aggravated when TV anchors and WhatsApp forwards started waxing eloquent about some of the never heard of security features of this currency denomination and how it would be a nightmare for counterfeiters.

One of them proclaimed it had a microchip, hitherto found only in ramrod stiff debit and credit cards. Hence it can be tracked by the government using satellites whenever it is stored in bulk.

Another gushed that the embedded nano-GPS chips can provide precise location of the currency and every note can be tracked. The chips are so powerful that even if they are buried 120 metres below the ground they can send signals to satellites.

Hence those looking to stash their fortune underground will have to trade their humble pick axes with borewell drilling machines if they wish to keep their treasure chest away from the long arm of law.

All this information gave me a terrible complex. It was as if the government was letting loose an iPhone 7 into an universe inhabited by telephones of Alexander Graham Bell era.

I waited for the D-day when the banks and ATMs reopened after a day's break to dole out the new currency in exchange of old ones.

At first there were some happy faces of people flaunting their new Rs 2,000 rupee note and soon social media was awash with it.

Look wise I was relieved as it had nothing much to write home about. For some it looked like a glorified version of money used in Monopoly game and for the more plebeian class it was akin to a lottery ticket. For some the pink shade reminded them of Govinda's trousers - which he wore while gyrating to double entendre songs in the 90s.

But amidst all this hilarity I waited with bated breath to know about the much touted chip and its magical qualities. It came as a big anti-climax and relief when the RBI itself put out a statement denying it. 

For the the proud owners of the new Rs 2,000 notes, reality began to sink in soon. A few selfies later, when they tried to transact the pink note, they found it had no takers. Even ritzy super markets are refusing to accept them if the bill amount is less than Rs 1,000 or even Rs 1,500 and they are forced to use cards or lower currency denominations.

Thus for me demonetisation has brought back my achche din. Now it has become a national obsession to pine for me and hoard me. And I am really loving it!!

Also Read: Bangalore Beat