Monday 23 May 2016

A Welcome Relief After 163 Years

There are far too many things we take for granted. One of them happens to be the ubiquitous trains that criss cross our country of continental dimensions. We all expect them to come on time and be stench free (nothing wrong in that) and while waiting at level crossings wonder why they take so much time to come. As it trundles past little do we wonder about the people who actually make it run and the challenges they face.

Among the 'running staff' it is the Train Ticket Examiner (TTE) who is the most familiar to us as we gingerly produce our tickets when he comes calling. Once he gives his satisfactory nod and returns the ticket and does some marking on his clipboard, we breathe easy. If the ticket is RAC or waiting list we are quite literally at his mercy and treat him like mai baap, and some are more than willing to play that role.

The next in line is the guard. A very shadowy figure confined to the rear end of the train, waving red and green flags. Very little is known about their other functions.

However the most elusive among the lot is the train driver, who nowadays has acquired a more gentrified nomenclature - locomotive pilot. We may catch a fleeting glimpse of them when the train arrives at the station or chugs past a level crossing. Since they are rarely seen, it is out of sight out of mind for most of us.

We happily retire on our allotted train berths during night after setting snooze alarm on our smartphones, with no thought of how the engine driver keeps awake till dawn, or how he manages to spot dimly lit signals during rains or foggy weather.

But what I read the other day came as a rude eye opener. These drivers cannot respond to nature's calls or have refreshments during their 12-hour shift! Just for a moment I thought of how I would cope with such a pre-condition for my eight-hour shift - both my bladder and tummy did not take it kindly! The railways have been operational in the country for 163 years and it is hard to believe that so far lakhs of engine drivers, spanning 3-4 generations, have worked all their lives under such conditions.

Only recently the Railways introduced its first locomotive fitted with a bio-toilet. The doors of the toilet would open only when the speed of the train reaches zero. The locomotive pilots won’t be able to answer nature’s call while the train is moving. And whenever the pilot would go inside the toilet, the brakes of the engine won’t be released by any system. Hope more and more such locomotives are put to use to make the drivers' lives easier.

I shudder to think how horrid their working conditions might have been while they were driving the now defunct coal fired steam engines.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Saturday 14 May 2016

For Whom The Bell Trolls

Fresh from a thumping win in the 2014 general elections and on his maiden visit to the US after becoming Prime Minister, Narendra Modi suffered a Freudian slip while regaling the fawning NRI audience at Madison Square. He referred to fellow Gujarati Mahatma Gandhi as 'Mohanlal' Karamchand Gandhi. Hailing from an organisation not favourably disposed towards Mahatma's brand of politics, it was quite understandable, even though 'Mohandas' is neither difficult to recall nor a tongue twister.

His 'Mohanlal' gaffe didn’t create much of a flutter elsewhere, but it did ring a bell and drew light hearted titters in the deep south of the Vindhyas, where an actor by that name enjoys super star status and even has a fans' association. Mohanlal carries his plus size frame with rare agility and  elan. And his dialogue delivery, especially the punch lines, are always lustily lapped up by his first-day-first-show fans.

Now two years down the line Modi's path once again crossed with Mohanlal and it is anything but light hearted.  This time it was one of those one-liners, of nearly two-decades vintage, that has morphed into a hashtag #pomonemodi and set off a Twitter-tsunami.

It looked more like a poetic justice. Because it is the Hindutva keypad warriors who were notorious for running down their opponents by posting nasty comments and trolling was considered their forte. But now Modi was getting a taste of his own medicine.

During his whistle stop tour of poll-bound Kerala, he remarked that the condition of Adivasis in Kerala was akin to that of people in Somalia. This badly ruffled the Malayali ego, which takes pride in its enviable Human Development Index, which is on par with Scandinavian countries.

However, it needs to be pointed out that the HDI among Adivasis in Kerala is not as impressive as its general population and leaves a lot to be desired. The governmental apathy and agricultural distress at the state's tribal belts have taken a heavy toll on their well being. But even then they are much better off than Adivasis in other states.

Modi's remark sparked off an unprecedented mobilisation of Malayalees on Twitter. Even those who had settled down elsewhere in the country or abroad decades ago, used to berate Mallu accent and were dismissive about the state in general, they too got galvanised to join the Twitter hashtag bandwagon and fire 140-character salvos at Modi.

The type of humour ranged from light hearted sarcasm, often accompanied by memes; some disputed Modi's claim using graphics, but some even got into the avoidable territory of racism, making fun of dark skin of Africans.

The popularity of this hashtag led to a counter hashtag #pomonechandi but with limited success, and a wag exhorted them to try something more original "like #solargirigiri or some such thing" to highlight the infamous solar scam for which the current Oommen Chandy government is drawing lot of flak.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Wednesday 4 May 2016

Leicester FC: Suddenly Something

Gambling jargons have always gone over my head, as my measly salary and risk-averse nature kept me away from such 'wallet-lightening' pursuits. So when I first came across the news that punters had given '5000-1 against' chance for Leicester City FC winning the English Premier League, it did not ring any bell. Until somewhere I read the nearest possible analogy - Elvis Presley being found alive this year! Maybe in the Indian context Elvis Presley may well be substituted by Subhas Chandra Bose.

Now those minuscule few who were crazy enough to put their money on this club may well be whistling Elvis songs on their way to the bank. In this era of hard as nails professionalism and big money in football, Leicester quite literally rose like a phoenix, as its past credentials were hardly inspiring. The foxes' (as they are called) quietly went about their job of craftily outwitting fancied opponents and it really took a while for many to take notice, amid their smokescreens of scepticism.

After all who would even give chance for a team that had suffered near relegation last season to show any promise this year. The coach, Claudio Ranieri, had trained many biggies like Chelsea, Juventus etc, but failed to make any major splash, and his last assignment with Greece was a disgrace. About the players the lesser said the better. Very few of them had even played first division soccer. Second division players like Frenchman N’Golo Kante, Algerian Riyad Mahrez and Englishman Jamie Richard Vardy failed to invite even a second look from football pundits.

My off and on football antennae too failed to pick up Leicester phenomenon until a friend updated me about two months ago. Till then the only sports figure from Leicester I had heard of was cricketer David Gower, who used to represent Leicestershire in county cricket. But by the time I checked on Leicester FC it had garnered the eyeballs and overtaken all the biggies - the clubs based in Manchester and London. 

The rest they say is history, though I would have loved them to finish off with a victory rather than an equaliser with Manchester United.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat