Rs 100: A National Treasure

I am one of those who has been labelled as 'also ran' in the currency pantheon and command little respect - either from users or even counterfeiters.

Though I had seen better days in 1970s, when average salaries used to be less than Rs 1,000, or even earlier period when average salaries were few hundred rupees, but all that is history and seems too Harappan to draw any comfort or feel inspired by recalling them.

Ever since I have been smarting under the shadow of my wealthier and much sought after cousins - Rs 500 and Rs 1,000 and relegated to the loose change category, clubbed with lesser mortals like Rs 50 or Rs 10 in the currency hierarchy.

I am not tempting enough to make a policeman wink at traffic infractions nor am I greasy enough for the palms of sundry babus to move files in various government offices.

Thanks to inflationary pressures, my purchasing capacity is so depleted that I cannot help my bearer buy a kilogram of toor dal. Think of it once upon a time (pardon my self pity) I could help a family buy a month's provisions.

However, all changed, changed utterly (my apologies to W.B. Yeats) on November 8. Those who used to hold me reluctantly due to my low denomination and tendency to bloat up their wallets, began to treasure and even hoard me.

On the other hand my wealthier cousins suddenly suffered a total meltdown of their worth. Many of them who were well ensconced in the high security safes and piggy banks for months and years were all hurriedly removed and shipped off to banks and illegal currency changers for exchange or deposit, and ultimately to RBI shredders.

To me it was a mixed feeling. The sudden newfound interest and attention gave me a heady feeling, but I also began feeling sorry for the wealthier peers who got abruptly evicted and packed off to oblivion. It made me feel philosophic about the transitory nature of power and glory.

Though basking in euphoria I was a bit perturbed when I heard about the proposed currency of Rs 2,000 denomination and felt that my new found acceptance would be a short lived one.

My concern got aggravated when TV anchors and WhatsApp forwards started waxing eloquent about some of the never heard of security features of this currency denomination and how it would be a nightmare for counterfeiters.

One of them proclaimed it had a microchip, hitherto found only in ramrod stiff debit and credit cards. Hence it can be tracked by the government using satellites whenever it is stored in bulk.

Another gushed that the embedded nano-GPS chips can provide precise location of the currency and every note can be tracked. The chips are so powerful that even if they are buried 120 metres below the ground they can send signals to satellites.

Hence those looking to stash their fortune underground will have to trade their humble pick axes with borewell drilling machines if they wish to keep their treasure chest away from the long arm of law.

All this information gave me a terrible complex. It was as if the government was letting loose an iPhone 7 into an universe inhabited by telephones of Alexander Graham Bell era.

I waited for the D-day when the banks and ATMs reopened after a day's break to dole out the new currency in exchange of old ones.

At first there were some happy faces of people flaunting their new Rs 2,000 rupee note and soon social media was awash with it.

Look wise I was relieved as it had nothing much to write home about. For some it looked like a glorified version of money used in Monopoly game and for the more plebeian class it was akin to a lottery ticket. For some the pink shade reminded them of Govinda's trousers - which he wore while gyrating to double entendre songs in the 90s.

But amidst all this hilarity I waited with bated breath to know about the much touted chip and its magical qualities. It came as a big anti-climax and relief when the RBI itself put out a statement denying it. 

For the the proud owners of the new Rs 2,000 notes, reality began to sink in soon. A few selfies later, when they tried to transact the pink note, they found it had no takers. Even ritzy super markets are refusing to accept them if the bill amount is less than Rs 1,000 or even Rs 1,500 and they are forced to use cards or lower currency denominations.

Thus for me demonetisation has brought back my achche din. Now it has become a national obsession to pine for me and hoard me. And I am really loving it!!

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Just For Laughs: Shilpa Shetty in Blunderland

"They should include books like Little Women, as it encourages respect towards women at a young age. Even a book like Animal Farm can teach the little ones to love and care for animals,” thus spake Shilpa Shetty, the original leggy lass of Bollywood, until the likes of Deepika Padukone came along.

The winner of Channel 4's Celebrity Big Brother in 2007 was responding to the recent move by the Indian Certificate of Secondary Education students (ICSE) to include Harry Potter, Tintin and Amar Chitra Katha as part of the English syllabus. Lauding the ICSE for the 'great move' she said it would help cultivate imagination and creativity at a young age.

This foot in tonsils remark regarding George Orwell's Animal Farm may or may not have caused a few cracks in the grave of the famous British novelist and short story writer, but for Twitterati it was a mouth watering feast they couldn't resist and #ShilpaShettyReviews was among the top trending hashtags for hours.

Almost every other well known books ranging from classics like Three Musketeers (it's about three Malayalis from Muscat) to bestsellers like Fifty Shades of Grey (It is an amazing coloring book that children will love) were used to troll her. The other worthies were ‘The Hunger Games is a great series on Karwa Chauth’; 'The Fault In Our Stars is a book where two tragic lovers can't marry because of their kundlis' and Point Counter Point: Arnab Goswami makes a point. Then he counters himself. Then he makes another point. Then he pats himself on the back. The interviewee goes home, silently sobbing.

With the country going through a crippling cash crunch following demonetisation (another trending topic) of currency notes of Rs 500 and Rs 1,000 denominations, the Twitterati was quite mindful to bring in that too - "Invisible Man is a searing story about RBI Governor Urjit Patel during demonetisation".

Shilpa Shetty's Phir Milenge co-star Salman Khan too landed at the wrong end of some hastag jousts - 'One Hundred Years of Solitude is basically Salman Khan's life story'; 'Deer Zindagi is about lives of deer in times of Salman Khan' and "Salman Khan calls #ShilpaShetty to see if the black bucks in her Animal Farm are doing okay."

Any discussion on Bollywood airheads is incomplete without reference to Alia Bhatt, who has been portrayed as the ultimate diva of ignorance-is-bliss school of thought. Many now felt Shilpa could take up Alia's mantle. 

However, amid this entire Twitterati titter, not many realised that the above news clip actually appeared not in some nondescript newspaper, but in one of the leading English dailies in the country. It needs to be asked why for an issue related to academics and education the publication thought it fit to look for a quote from an actress. Of late quotes from actors and actresses are elicited for almost any topic under the sun to sex up the story.

Secondly the reporter, who recorded the quote and the editor who put it on the page, both sleepwalked through the gaffe and allowed it to appear in print. These two are equally culpable as Shilpa Shetty ... or was it deliberately overlooked to stir up a social media storm? In this era of post-truth we never know.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Phata Poster Nikhla Deshbhakt

It used to be said that reel life imitates real, then they became our role models and real started aspiring for reel, and now in this era of narcissistic selfie society the reel life stars have become spokespersons on almost anything under the sun.

With the country sabre rattling with Pakistan over terror attacks and aggressive nationalism being the new credo of political correctness, wearing patriotism on one's sleeve is the new normal. The whole country seems to have become a garrison with every citizen being a combatant. And those in the film industry are no way immune to it.

The other day I came across a 'viral' video widely shared and 'liked' on Facebook, whose title if loosely translated from Hindi to English would mean 'Nana Patekar shows Salman Khan his place'.

The video is a rant by the Tiranga star, who initially buttresses his military credentials by claiming that he had served the army for a couple of years and then goes on to say that the soldier was the most important person in the country. The rest of our countrymen are insignificant and he equates his current profession of being a film star as something as inconsequential as bed bugs.

He then goes on to declare that a ‘jung’ was on with the neighbouring country and hence it can't be business as usual. So Pakistani stars acting in Bollywood was not on. 

To be fair he was prodded repeatedly  by the videographer to decry Salman Khan and the interviewer finally got more than enough sound bites to cobble up a surefire viral video.

Salman Khan has been a trollers’ delight for his usual foot in mouth remarks. However his recent statement on Pakistani actors was actually a huge deviation from status quo. For a change he really sounded sensible when he said Pakistani actors come with valid visas and they cannot be equated with terrorists. 

It would have been a perfectly humane remark at normal times, but it touched a raw nerve post-Uri attacks. While TV studios are vying with each other to play high decibel war drums, it was suicidal to say something on those lines. Salman was declared enemy of the state and many of his industry peers too joined the chorus.

The last I heard on Pakistani actors was that Cinema Owners Exhibitors Association of India (COEAI) has decided not to release movies starring them, in Maharashtra, Gujarat, Karnataka and Goa. Thus Karan Johar's Ai Dil He Mushkil (which has Fawad Khan) and Shah Rukh Khan's Raees (Mahira Khan) run the risk of not hitting the cinema theatres of many states. 

Cinema, music concerts, cricket matches are very visible symbols and targeting them often satiates the revenge lust of the chest thumping jingoists like the political senas of Mumbai. For them it provides good return on investment in terms of publicity if they storm studios and multiplexes.

Whereas amid all this turmoil the corporate-bania class happily carries out trade with Pakistan. Hence cheap cement from Pakistan continues to land at our ports and various border trading points and exports from India are shipped to Pakistan without any ado.

Same is the case with China. Now Diwali is round the corner and we are being bombarded with messages to boycott Chinese crackers as it always sides with Pakistan. Irony dies thousand  deaths because they are tweeted using phones and laptops laden with components made in Chinese manufacturing hubs like Shenzhen.

While we are fed with swadeshi homilies, our captains of industries make fortunes doing business with the very countries we are being told to hate.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Brangelina Split: A High Brow Take

When the first couple of Page 3 universe Brangelina decided to part ways this website of a little known London based free newspaper City A.M. decided to turn much maligned dumbing down on its head. 

While the media and blogosphere was awash with the news about this celeb divorce with jazzy headlines and reporters and analysts were busy splitting hairs over the 'other woman' behind this Page 3 show stopper and the number of zeroes in the impending divorce settlement of this Hollywood power couple, City A.M took a different course.

It decided to give a high brow touch with a bland headline "London School of Economics lecturer to divorce actor husband". It brought to the fore a little known fact of Tomb Raider star being a visiting lecturer at a 'respected' London university, a post she took up as recently as May. However it did display her picture prominently in order to ensure that the reader does not forego the story completely.

Wonder how many lecturers get this kind of publicity when they divorce their spouses?

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

An Immortal Click

While the world was observing the 15th anniversary of 9/11 terror attacks, a 92-year-old woman Greta Friedman passed away in the US. The name hardly rang a bell, but the accompanying picture did.

Like the iconic picture of plane crashing into one of the twin towers, which epitomized terrorism in 21st century, her photo of being kissed by a sailor at New York's Times Square went on to acquire an iconic status to evoke the end of a turbulent era in the 20th century.

The photo was taken on Aug. 14, 1945 - the day Japan agreed to surrender and it marked the end of World War II. Known as V-J Day (victory over Japan), it evoked relief and euphoria in the backdrop of cataclysmic events such as Nazi concentration camps and the nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Since then this particular photograph has been a regular fixture at photo exhibitions and photography classes. Apart from those pursuing serious photography, I mean those clicking beyond selfies, not many knew about the photographer or the people featured in the photo.

Photographer Alfred Eisenstaedt randomly clicked the photo amid the crowded revelry in the Times Square and he had little idea who the people were.The photo was first published in Life magazine without much fanfare, in the inside pages, and gained recognition (or 'got viral' to use a social media term) much later. It was widely reproduced by various publications and so did the reader curiosity regarding the couple.

There were many claimants to be the kissing couple and it was only around 1980 it was confirmed that it was George Mendonsa and Greta Friedman, an Austria-born nurse who lost her parents in Nazi concentration camps.

Those days photography was coming of age, stepping out of the shadows of painting to be an art form in itself. The cameras had become less unwieldy and user friendly (though still primitive by current digital standards), but colour photography was still many decades away. 

As only black and white photos were possible Eisenstaedt was looking for contrasts. In his book 'Eisenstaedt on Eisenstaedt: A Self-Portrait' he said, “If she [Friedman] had been dressed in a dark dress I would never have taken the picture. If the sailor had worn a white uniform, the same.”

And the rest they say is history. 

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Rained In With Awards, Honours

It's now raining awards and other goodies like BMW cars for the three members who tasted some success at Rio Olympics, out of the 119-strong Olympics contingent that returned after an overall disastrous outing. Compared with last Olympics tally of six medals this time it has been much slimmer pickings with just two medals - a silver and bronze.

However it may be argued that the previous outing was an honourable exception than rule. India's Olympic performance is nothing home to write about. Barring hockey in the pre-astroturf days, the country never made any lasting mark in this global sporting extravaganza.

In this medal starved country such accomplishments call for king's reception, something Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt may envy. They may come home with cart loads of gold medals, but I doubt whether they get the kind of reception which say an Indian bronze or silver medallist, or someone who came close to it, may get on arrival at the New Delhi airport.

It is almost as if for this country of billion people, which has little or no sports culture and treats sportspersons with scant respect, organising such a spectacle is its way of atoning for its sins of ignoring these athletes all these years.

For our sports ministry babus and mandarins, it works out perfectly well, as it is much easier to shower awards and goodies, with the procurement department guys pocketing commissions, than suffer the toil of setting up training facilities and maintaining them good enough to churn out world class athletes.

This mindset is very much evident when Indian contingent goes to participate in the Olympics. The number of officials is always higher than that of athletes. It has been our hallowed tradition and no government could ever overturn it. For most of them it is an all expenses paid pleasure trip with shopping for extended family thrown in.

For most athletes and their support staff official high handedness is a professional hazard. The latest story to tumble out this Olympics was of gymnast Dipa Karmarkar's physio being flown to Rio only after she made it to the finals. After every Olympics we get to hear such stories and this one is not going to be the last.

But it would be naive to assume that only bureaucrats and politicians had a good time. Some athletes too have perfected the art of fleecing the system. According to an Indian Express report as per the Target Olympic Podium Scheme (TOPS) some of them tried to claim huge amounts of money ostensibly for training, often in foreign shores, and some even managed to make the government pay for  their family members accompanying them to Rio. 

Ironically the country’s only two medallists were among those who received the least funding from the government, trained in India and under an Indian coach. Bronze medallist Sakshi Malik took just Rs 12 lakh under TOPS while silver medal-winning shuttler P V Sindhu was allocated Rs 44 lakh. Dipa Karmakar, who lost a medal by whisker, only claimed Rs 2 lakh from the government.

When someone does well in Olympics the state governments too wake up from their reveries and try to play cheer leaders. They loosen purse strings to indulge in competitive populism. After all it is only public money and those making these announcements are not paying from their pockets.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Endless Blood-letting in July

July has turned out to be the cruellest month so far this year with a rash of terror attacks around the world, especially Europe. Some of them displayed sickening levels of barbarity, especially the one at an upscale cafe in Bangladesh got attacked on July 1.

Though in terms of casualties, 29 deaths, it may not be much compared with say Iraq, Syria or Yemen, which records ten times that much every month. However the raw savagery unleashed by the assailants in Bangladesh made a chilling read.

They were 19-20 year olds, just out of some top notch schools in Bangladesh. But their savagery was reminiscent of medieval era warriors. Though they were carrying guns, machete was their favourite weapon and beheading, lynching their preferred mode to get rid of victims. The guns were only meant to be used when confronted with security forces.

In Bangladesh it looks like lynching is a very prevalent mode used by extremists. It has been used numerous times to kill bloggers, priests and just about anyone opposed to their ideologies or religious beliefs. Though guns provide the luxury of distance while eliminating people, these extremists seem to be hankering after greater sadistic pleasure of being in close proximity to their victims, while the latter meet with their blood spattered end.

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The second cruellest attack happened in Nice in France on July 14. It came as a rude awakening to the French security establishment, which was breathing easy after an incident-free Euro cup soccer. Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel, a driver of Tunisian origin, turned an innocuous looking truck into a killing machine.

It ploughed through a crowd, which had gathered to watch the Bastille Day fireworks, for nearly two kilometres and killed 84 people. Here too guns played a secondary role, while the 19-ton vehicle trampled the victims under its wheels. 

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Lastly there are forgotten people residing in conflict zones such as Iraq, Syria and Yemen. For the world community they are not even significant enough to be a statistic as hundreds die on a daily basis. Iraq and Syria are sometimes lucky enough to get a passing mention when some 50 plus people get killed in a bomb blast or when the problem of refugee influx to Europe is discussed. 

But the Yemenis are the proverbial children of lesser god. This poorest country in Arab world gets pounded by fighter jets from regional satraps such as Saudi Arabia and UAE with impunity for months together and the rest of the world does not even bat an eyelid.

Yemeni lives matter! Anyone?

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Macho Ado About Cow

BJP supporter turned detractor Arun Shourie recently described the current NDA government as UPA government plus cow. And to prove him right the cow vigilantes are burning gallons of midnight oil, lying in wait at unearthly hours in many highways to pounce upon those transporting cattle. Thanks to conniving police force and an apathetic (and sometimes even proactive) ruling class they have been having a free run in most parts of the cow belt.

Having got away with Dadri and many other such attacks, the impact is now being felt in cattle and leather trade. It has begun to falter, thanks to the fear factor generated by the gau rakshaks. Kolhapuri chappal industry is currently in doldrums and even the prices of cricket balls have shot up as cow hide is hard to come by and manufacturers have been forced to go on a 'leather hunt'.

Emboldened by these successes, the hubris of gau rakshaks got better of them when they posted a video of few Dalit people in the prime minister's home state Gujarat getting beaten up with iron rods for skinning a dead cattle. They thought the grisly spectacle, which happened on July 11, would send chills down the spines of people and quite literally 'cow them down'. 

As they wished the video did go viral, thanks to their social media propaganda machinery, but the subsequent events did not pan out as they would have thought of. They underestimated the penetration of the internet, especially the mobile internet in our society. They failed to realise the access it had among the Dalits, especially their opinion leaders, and the rest they say is history.

Even the government and its intelligence machinery, which had acted with alacrity in banning WhatsApp and internet during the Patel quota agitation, failed to read this smouldering discontent on the cyber space. The administration woke up only on July 18, when in Surendranagar district a group of Dalits dumped cow carcasses at the District Collector’s office.

This dramatic Boston Tea party type incident also knocked mainstream media out of its page 3 obsessed stupour, as it provided a good potential for a colourful copy and package! When the clubbing of Dalits happened on July 11, they had behaved as if it was happening in some other planet.  

According to a Scroll report the Surendranagar march was organised by two social workers Nathubhai Parmar and Maheshbhai Rathod and a businessman Hirabhai Chawda, who trades in the by-products of dead cows. They went from village to village showing the infamous video on a laptop. They also used WhatsApp, Facebook and file sharing apps to spread the video and exhorted the villagers to come out and fight.

To drive home their point the Dalits also decided not to pick up dead cows on the street. This was indeed a rude jolt to a society which pays scant regards to dignity of labour.

Having caught the imagination of the country, leaders of various political hues, many of them with dubious credentials, are trying to court the Dalits of Gujarat. One just hopes the movement sustains itself for a long time and does not fizzle out or even worse get co-opted by some opportunistic groups.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Two Deaths and Twitter Hashtag Jousts

The blood spattered platform of a Chennai suburban railway station and a grainy footage of a backpacker captured by a CCTV camera located outside the station made for a disturbing viewing on prime time television. It brought back the memories of a similarly spooky footage of a murderous attack on a woman in an ATM kiosk in Bangalore few years ago. And for the record that guy is still on the loose.

In case of Chennai killing, even before the police could pick up the pieces or one could say 'preliminary investigation', the Twitterati was out there with long knives tipped with hashtags and their 140-character barrage only reflected their prejudices, fears and anxieties, with not even an iota of truth. Looks like the rumour mills of yesteryears have logged on to information superhighway and overrun social media platforms such as Twitter and WhatsApp. 

Of the two schools of thought that enjoyed high bandwidth, the first one was that the killer was a Muslim and most likely of an ISIS kind. They reasoned that such cruelty can be done only by those brainwashed by Baghdadi and his minions. They maintained that police and media already knew it but were maintaining a criminal silence over the issue.

A different shade of the similar opinion was that it was the handiwork of love jihad guys. They opined that the victim had refused to fall for their guiles and hence the murder happened. The bottomline was that the killer was from 'other' community and all are preying on Hindu girls, especially the upper caste (higher genetics) ones.

Both the theories gained lots of traction in the social media with celebrities like singer Abhijeet and Tamil actor Y G Mahendran too joining the bandwagon. The former even got into a below the belt hashtag joust with a woman journalist and even has a police case against him. 

The other dominant school of thought has to do more with cultural conditioning than politics. The deeply rooted patriarchy and a haseena maan jayegi mindset have left their thinking totally warped. A girl's consent hardly matters and her 'no' is yes.

With this sense of well entrenched entitlement many wrote that the girl must have 'spoiled' his life by rejecting him or she 'asked for it'. For such guys even stalking or threatening their object of desire is absolutely kosher - a belief that gets reinforced in our films, irrespective of language. And Tamil box office has made a huge fortune out of films related to stalking.

Around eight days after Swathi killing there was a road accident in Chennai, caused by a drunk woman Aishwarya Wilton and it was god send for the troll crowd. She was driving a high end Audi car in top speed and mowed down a pedestrian. Drunk woman from upper crust of the society causing an accident, and the victim a poor daily wage earner - was quite a heady mix for them.

Immediately they started linking it with Swathi murder, saying if the photo of the killer of a 'rich' girl can be splashed on newspapers, Aishwarya's photo should also be shown and paraded in front of TV cameras. They accused media and police of double standards saying female accused were being treated with kid gloves and called for 'level playing field'.

Aishwarya's crime is serious and calls for strict punishment according to law (though I have some scepticism considering how Salman Khan hit-and-run case turned out). But to equate it with a pre-meditated cold blooded murder is taking things a bit too far. The underlying unsettling factor for the troll crowd is the changing social mores of women partying and getting drunk!

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

A Lowdown on Udta Punjab

During my school days in one of those nondescript Kendriya vidyalayas in the country's cow belt in the 70s, our Hindi teacher (who also used to teach us Sanskrit) often used to say that though Punjab is known as land of five rivers, but it actually has six. Then with a tinge of amusement he used to quip, "The sixth one is not filled with water, but alcohol!" 

Back then Punjabis enjoyed quite a reputation for their penchant for rich food and liquor and even earned a home grown moniker for their excesses - Patiala peg.

Though the state later lost its distinction of being the highest per capita liquor guzzler, the controversy over Udta Punjab has brought the state's yet another seamier side to spotlight. Though the state's dalliance with drugs has a long history, with its fascination for bhukki or doda, traditional poppy husk or opium dating back to the days of Mughals, but it never proved to be a threat to the social fabric.

The situation started changing in the 80s after it mutated to synthetic drugs. However, the early effects were felt in Delhi, Mumbai and other metros and it took a long time to swamp Punjab.

In fact when Dev D was released in 2009, I thought the movie had gone overboard depicting use of drugs in Punjab.

However three years later a longish reportage in Tehelka magazine (Oct, 2012) titled 'What hit this land of plenty?' proved quite an eye opener. Punjab's drug abuse statistics were quite startling with huge number of college students hooked to it and the government living in denial and behaving as if the problem was an individual one and not systemic.

The report also quoted a BSF officer who claimed that they had conducted a recruitment drive to fill 376 vacancies and more than 8000 men turned up. But they chose not to fill 85 vacancies as the candidates were too weak and unfit. Politicians, pharmacies and even de-addiction clinics appear to be have their own axes to grind to keep the populace hooked to drugs.

Later there were a steady stream of reports about the problem and some had even hinted at involvement of politicos close to Badal family. But the administration remained in denial and anyone raising the issue was accused of exaggeration and 'insulting' Punjabi asmita (sounds too familiar). The police confined their activities to catching addicts and small time pedlars, leaving the big fishes untouched.

But like any movie that involves Anurag Kashyap, this one ran into rough weather with censor board and sprang a few surprises both onscreen and offscreen. And needless to say the latter ones were so interesting that the film's promoters did not have to do much on the pre-release publicity front. 

The biggest surprise turned out to be Shyam Benegal, a man who had directed and produced many avante garde films like Manthan, Mandi and other arthouse films. His utterance that movies like Udta Punjab should be screened only in red light areas had the whole nation cringing. Surely censor board chief Pahlaj Nihalani's influence seems to have badly rubbed on him!

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

A Welcome Relief After 163 Years

There are far too many things we take for granted. One of them happens to be the ubiquitous trains that criss cross our country of continental dimensions. We all expect them to come on time and be stench free (nothing wrong in that) and while waiting at level crossings wonder why they take so much time to come. As it trundles past little do we wonder about the people who actually make it run and the challenges they face.

Among the 'running staff' it is the Train Ticket Examiner (TTE) who is the most familiar to us as we gingerly produce our tickets when he comes calling. Once he gives his satisfactory nod and returns the ticket and does some marking on his clipboard, we breathe easy. If the ticket is RAC or waiting list we are quite literally at his mercy and treat him like mai baap, and some are more than willing to play that role.

The next in line is the guard. A very shadowy figure confined to the rear end of the train, waving red and green flags. Very little is known about their other functions.

However the most elusive among the lot is the train driver, who nowadays has acquired a more gentrified nomenclature - locomotive pilot. We may catch a fleeting glimpse of them when the train arrives at the station or chugs past a level crossing. Since they are rarely seen, it is out of sight out of mind for most of us.

We happily retire on our allotted train berths during night after setting snooze alarm on our smartphones, with no thought of how the engine driver keeps awake till dawn, or how he manages to spot dimly lit signals during rains or foggy weather.

But what I read the other day came as a rude eye opener. These drivers cannot respond to nature's calls or have refreshments during their 12-hour shift! Just for a moment I thought of how I would cope with such a pre-condition for my eight-hour shift - both my bladder and tummy did not take it kindly! The railways have been operational in the country for 163 years and it is hard to believe that so far lakhs of engine drivers, spanning 3-4 generations, have worked all their lives under such conditions.

Only recently the Railways introduced its first locomotive fitted with a bio-toilet. The doors of the toilet would open only when the speed of the train reaches zero. The locomotive pilots won’t be able to answer nature’s call while the train is moving. And whenever the pilot would go inside the toilet, the brakes of the engine won’t be released by any system. Hope more and more such locomotives are put to use to make the drivers' lives easier.

I shudder to think how horrid their working conditions might have been while they were driving the now defunct coal fired steam engines.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

For Whom The Bell Trolls

Fresh from a thumping win in the 2014 general elections and on his maiden visit to the US after becoming Prime Minister, Narendra Modi suffered a Freudian slip while regaling the fawning NRI audience at Madison Square. He referred to fellow Gujarati Mahatma Gandhi as 'Mohanlal' Karamchand Gandhi. Hailing from an organisation not favourably disposed towards Mahatma's brand of politics, it was quite understandable, even though 'Mohandas' is neither difficult to recall nor a tongue twister.

His 'Mohanlal' gaffe didn’t create much of a flutter elsewhere, but it did ring a bell and drew light hearted titters in the deep south of the Vindhyas, where an actor by that name enjoys super star status and even has a fans' association. Mohanlal carries his plus size frame with rare agility and  elan. And his dialogue delivery, especially the punch lines, are always lustily lapped up by his first-day-first-show fans.

Now two years down the line Modi's path once again crossed with Mohanlal and it is anything but light hearted.  This time it was one of those one-liners, of nearly two-decades vintage, that has morphed into a hashtag #pomonemodi and set off a Twitter-tsunami.

It looked more like a poetic justice. Because it is the Hindutva keypad warriors who were notorious for running down their opponents by posting nasty comments and trolling was considered their forte. But now Modi was getting a taste of his own medicine.

During his whistle stop tour of poll-bound Kerala, he remarked that the condition of Adivasis in Kerala was akin to that of people in Somalia. This badly ruffled the Malayali ego, which takes pride in its enviable Human Development Index, which is on par with Scandinavian countries.

However, it needs to be pointed out that the HDI among Adivasis in Kerala is not as impressive as its general population and leaves a lot to be desired. The governmental apathy and agricultural distress at the state's tribal belts have taken a heavy toll on their well being. But even then they are much better off than Adivasis in other states.

Modi's remark sparked off an unprecedented mobilisation of Malayalees on Twitter. Even those who had settled down elsewhere in the country or abroad decades ago, used to berate Mallu accent and were dismissive about the state in general, they too got galvanised to join the Twitter hashtag bandwagon and fire 140-character salvos at Modi.

The type of humour ranged from light hearted sarcasm, often accompanied by memes; some disputed Modi's claim using graphics, but some even got into the avoidable territory of racism, making fun of dark skin of Africans.

The popularity of this hashtag led to a counter hashtag #pomonechandi but with limited success, and a wag exhorted them to try something more original "like #solargirigiri or some such thing" to highlight the infamous solar scam for which the current Oommen Chandy government is drawing lot of flak.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Leicester FC: Suddenly Something

Gambling jargons have always gone over my head, as my measly salary and risk-averse nature kept me away from such 'wallet-lightening' pursuits. So when I first came across the news that punters had given '5000-1 against' chance for Leicester City FC winning the English Premier League, it did not ring any bell. Until somewhere I read the nearest possible analogy - Elvis Presley being found alive this year! Maybe in the Indian context Elvis Presley may well be substituted by Subhas Chandra Bose.

Now those minuscule few who were crazy enough to put their money on this club may well be whistling Elvis songs on their way to the bank. In this era of hard as nails professionalism and big money in football, Leicester quite literally rose like a phoenix, as its past credentials were hardly inspiring. The foxes' (as they are called) quietly went about their job of craftily outwitting fancied opponents and it really took a while for many to take notice, amid their smokescreens of scepticism.

After all who would even give chance for a team that had suffered near relegation last season to show any promise this year. The coach, Claudio Ranieri, had trained many biggies like Chelsea, Juventus etc, but failed to make any major splash, and his last assignment with Greece was a disgrace. About the players the lesser said the better. Very few of them had even played first division soccer. Second division players like Frenchman N’Golo Kante, Algerian Riyad Mahrez and Englishman Jamie Richard Vardy failed to invite even a second look from football pundits.

My off and on football antennae too failed to pick up Leicester phenomenon until a friend updated me about two months ago. Till then the only sports figure from Leicester I had heard of was cricketer David Gower, who used to represent Leicestershire in county cricket. But by the time I checked on Leicester FC it had garnered the eyeballs and overtaken all the biggies - the clubs based in Manchester and London. 

The rest they say is history, though I would have loved them to finish off with a victory rather than an equaliser with Manchester United.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Timeless Appeal of Salim Langde Par Mat Ro

The other day I was watching Saeed Akhtar Mirza's Salim Langde Par Mat Ro on YouTube. The movie was released in 1989, but the plot seemed eerily relevant to the present times of chest thumping and polarising debates on nationalism and the overwhelming tendency to wear patriotism on one's sleeve. 

Set in the backdrop of Bhiwandi riots in 1984 (a precursor to much more horrific 1992-93 Mumbai riots) the movie is about the life in a predominantly Muslim mohalla in central Bombay (as it was known then) or the mill districts (which have now gentrified into high street malls and corporate offices).

In the movie some social workers screen a documentary in that mohalla about the horrors of Bhiwandi riots and explain to them the perils to falling prey to the guile of communal forces. It strikes a chord among the local populace and stirs up a debate on communalism.

During one such discussion at a tea shop, owned by one Rahaman bhai (Ajit Vachani), Lala  (Achyut Potdar), a Hindu businessman cum wheeler dealer, says the documentary was all bakwas and misleading propaganda to incite people. He then goes on to blame the British for the Hindu-Muslim divide.

Vilasbhai (Ashok Banthia) a local thug interjects 'the Brits left long ago, but now why this strife'. To which the Lala replies that it is because some people are not patriotic enough. Then he points to the paanwala, sitting in a kiosk next to the tea shop. The bashful paanwala modestly replies that he is too busy making both ends meet to think of deshbhakti.

Just then Rahman bhai asks Lala, 'Are you patriotic?'. 'Of course' replies Lala proudly. Then Rahman bhai asks, "How? By selling smuggled goods, selling essential commodities in black market, pushing gullible women into flesh trade." The Lala dismissively laughs an says, "What Rahaman bhai tum bhi na."

Just then Vilasbhai interjects, "what Rahman Bhai said was correct". Then what follows is his tongue-in-cheek punchline, "Iss mulk mein desh bhakton ki lambi line lagi hai, kaahe to traffic jam karta hai" (In this country there is a long line of people claiming to be patriots, why are you creating a traffic jam!). 

Thus Mirza in this short clip very tellingly exposes the hollowness of the pseudo patriotism practised by Lala and his ilk in the society, which of late seems to be very much on the rise and is very much in your face - right from TV studios to cricket stadiums. It is a pity that he no longer makes such films.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Short And Simple Annals of The Poor

With almost every media house involved in the rat race for advertising revenue and TRP ratings, some publications like Fountain Ink and Caravan buck the trend by venturing into territories where the mainstream media may either fear to tread or think it’s way too ‘down market’, hence not worth the trouble.

Every publication and its editor these days live under the hallucination that their readers are high net worth individuals who drive to work in swanky cars, have high purchasing capacity and spend vacations in exotic locales around the globe.

It is another matter that this particular class, whom they are too eager to court, are too busy and don’t care to read anything other than what appears on their smartphone screens! Moreover if they want to buy a car or an expensive gadget, poring newspapers and magazines would be the last thing that would come to their minds.

The recent cover story in Caravan about an ayah who, without her knowledge, became a millionaire on paper and was used as a cover by her employer to hide his financial chicanery is something no mainstream publication would suffer the toil of touching even with a barge pole, let alone follow it up.

As part of Post 9/11 investigations the US investigators stumbled upon the infamous insider trading scandal involving Raj Rajarathnam, CEO of hedge fund company Galleon and Rajat Gupta former global head of McKinsey. As Rajat Gupta was the darling of corporate India, it did evoke some interest in the country’s pink press and his later incarceration was mourned by many in the India Inc.

The above said maid, Manju Das, was listed as an investor in Galleon, with “Anil Kumar” (a McKinsey employee) as her contact person.

After a prolonged investigation into the case, the arrests happened in 2009. Though Rajarathnam and Gupta had to undergo jail terms, Kumar got off lightly, because he had ‘cooperated’ and helped the authorities unearth crucial details. He had to undergo a probation period of two years and forfeit the $2.26 million that was calculated to be his illicit gain.

It was found that the illegal payments Kumar got from Rajarathnam were fraudulently hidden from his employers and the government, and routed to tax havens in South America (resident or non-resident Indian, money laundering runs in our blood!). To carry out this embezzlement Kumar hijacked Manju Das’s identity, while she was working as a live-in maid with the family in California. However, after Kumar’s arrest her employment was terminated and she was sent back to India.

Under the shadow of this high profile case, this particular sub-plot involving exploitation of an underclass woman got totally eclipsed. Moreover Das was paid a measly salary, way below the US minimum wages and many other norms for US maids were violated.

Ironically the US prosecutor for hedge fund scam happened to the Preet Behrara, who later took on Indian diplomat Devyani Khobargade for not paying minimum wages to her maid. Somehow he too failed to smell the rat in this case.

After Das reached India, Kumar saw to it that her passport and other travel papers were taken away by his assistant. When pointed out to her that it was a criminal offence for anyone to hold on to her passport, she wryly said she no longer needed it. For her the daily grind for rozi roti and old age itself was too daunting to worry about such legal trifles. 

As I said earlier no other publication picked up the story. Maybe the nation does not want an answer to such unsettling questions!!

Also Read: Bangalore Beat

Haves and Have-nots

Rohith Vemula's suicide is turning out to be the Rajeev Goswami moment for the Dalit students. The analogy may sound sacrilegious as Rohith and Rajeev espoused diametrically opposite causes, however, they have one thing in common. They both ceased being mere statistic and found their way to the viewfinder of national media and had long shelf lives in public discourse.

For the sake of post-Mandal generation a quick recap. The graphic picture of Rajeev Goswami, a Delhi University student, committing self immolation during an anti-Mandal rally in Delhi in 1990 made him the face of anti-quota agitation.

Back in 1990s the mass media mainly consisted of newspapers and magazines; 24/7 news channels was still few years away, and internet, video platforms like Youtube were still in the realm of science fiction.

Barring some niche publications such as Economic and Political Weekly (EPW) and Mainstream all the popular newspapers and magazines came down heavily against Mandal Commission findings, which advocated reservation for Other Backward Communities, and the then prime minister Vishwanath Pratap Singh.

The mainstream media, led by India Today and Indian Express (under Arun Shourie), converged to the singular narrative that reservations kill efficiency in government departments and drain nation's precious resources. Moreover, they argued it was being cornered by a select section among the beneficiaries. Anyone with a differing view had no platform to express - websites, blog posts were still eons away. Their only solace were the niche publications, whose reach was very limited.

Now with Vemula's death the pendulum has swung to the opposite direction. His death has become a rallying cry to highlight the plight of Dalit students in particular and treatment of Dalits by our society in general. Many other instances of suicides by Dalit students, following harassment by classmates and professors at prestigious institutes like IIT Rorkee and AIIMS have come to light. For some Dalits it has now become a 'coming out' moment by revealing their caste, something they had kept tightly under wraps for years.  

Thankfully this time the mainstream media's bias was not as pronounced as in 1990, there is much more diversity and heterogeneity over the issue. Views favouring quota for Dalits and other backward classes are appearing in popular publications, though sometimes with a disclaimer (the views expressed are personal and not that of the publication) and there are many bloggers and independent writers concerned about the plight of Dalits.

However internet trolls against reservation quota, who were quite active in various social media forums, are now working overtime. Even before this issue broke out there was always a steady supply of jokes and memes lampooning reservations and making it appear that those who got college admission or jobs due to quota were dunces and free loaders. After Vemula's death they are now busy digging 'facts' to cast aspersions on his caste. Since his father belongs to an OBC caste and his mother an SC, they have got a toehold to play on. However the fact that Vemula got admission based on merit has taken a lot of wind out of their sails.

But surprisingly the political section that got the most exposed and discredited out of this controversy was not the right wing casteists (their regressive views were quite well known), but the Left parties whose claims of being inclusive rung hollow. Vemula was himself a SFI activist and got disillusioned and joined Ambedkar Students Association (ASA). He had wryly claimed the Leftists may have discarded religion, but not caste!!

While the Vemula struggle was hogging national headlines, Chitralekha a Dalit woman auto driver from Kannur in Kerala was waging a low profile battle by going on an indefinite strike in front of the state secretariat in Thiruvananthapuram. She has been waging a lonely battle for a decade against the alleged caste and gender 'intolerance' of the Communist Party of India (Marxist) workers in Kannur. The CPM-affiliated Centre for Indian Trade Union (CITU) workers had prevented her from plying her autorickshaw and even burnt down her vehicle.

Hence it is no wonder that Dalits feel cold shouldered by most mainstream parties, even those professing to be progressive, and float Dalit specific outfits like ASA to fight for their causes.

Also Read: Bangalore Beat