Memoirs Of a File At Petroleum Ministry

Being a cog in the so called steel frame of Indian bureaucracy, it is difficult to spot me (only a trained babu/chaprasi eyes can do that) as I sit among those faceless heaps of files dotting the cupboards of Shastri Bhawan. The life cycle of my counterparts in other ministries is no different - spend long years in shelves, gather dust, get nibbled by silverfish and then get hawked off to kabadi wallahs. From there end up as wrapper for bhel puris and peanuts and then get trashed or litter around aimlessly.

For us labels like 'confidential' or 'top secret' is as coveted as green card for Aam Aadmi. That stamp is a game changer, suddenly we become worth our weight in gold. While some officials (probably the guys who wrote it) go to any length to keep us away from the prying hands, for most others (ranging from lowly chaprasi to gazetted officers) it’s an opportunity to fatten wallets by finding the highest bidder. And the list of seekers is long -  corporate lobbyists, PR firms, journalists, spies...

Opening the gates for private players to explore the country's hydrocarbon reserves in 1999 ushered in the tailwinds of crony capitalism into our ministry. Soon the babus began aligning with one corporate house or other and the corridors got overrun by  lobbyists. They not only moved heaven and earth to swing deals in favour of their clients, but even began to influence some top postings in the ministry. However the sanctimonious stand taken by our successive governments towards lobbying ensured that it remained a thriving industry, but with under the table dealings.

The modus operandi for pinching files vary, but in most cases it involves the connivance of an insider. For a short period these files disappear and return after undergoing a 'scan' at a friendly neighbourhood photocopying outlet. These activities intensify when crucial moments such as calling of bids for oil fields or if Finance Ministry seeks inputs for Union Budget.

They say every man has his price, hence the favours doled out also vary. It may range from very predictable and mundane as few wads of currency notes or an all expenses paid holiday to something more rarefied as offer for top posts in the ministry with a quid pro quo to act as per the bidding of 'sponsors'.

The procurers have their own axes to grind - for lobbyists and PR firms it's to keep their clients ahead of their competitors, get a wind of any adverse action being contemplated by the government or do firefighting for their clients. For journalists it’s to whet their eternal quest for exclusives to be on the safe zone during performance appraisals.

For spies it could something far more lethal ranging from one time sabotage to endangering our long term energy security altogether.

Lastly as a poet said 'Paths of glory lead but to the grave', so even for an elite 'confidential' file a time comes to call it a day, when it outlives its utility. However it goes to shredders, instead of kabadis. Sometimes it even meets with untimely end due to fire accidents, often caused by not so natural causes.

(A work of an imagination riddled with silver fish nibbling)

Also Read: Bangalore Beat