With the recent video of Karnataka Assembly members watching porn going viral, the porn industry is literally salivating at the new market. They are now looking at Indian netas and wannabes as a new turn on.
So far they had assumed that these hardball politicos, neck-deep in hard core crimes such as money laundering, murder, rape, had no inclination for juvenile stuff like watching porn. The recent TV footage has convinced them that though they may be in the 40 to 90 age group, with pot bellies directly proportionate to their Swiss bank balance, they are still 14-year-olds at heart.
Kingfisher 2011 calendar girl Poonam Pandey is planning a special porn video for our netas titled Dil toh bachcha hai ji. After her two false starts - fiasco over not being able tofulfil her promise that she would run nude after India won cricket World Cup and later in England, when men in blue played spoilsport - she is hoping that she would be third time lucky. “I see this as a golden opportunity to undo everything (not just clothes) - even my broken promises to Indian cricket fans,” she gushed.
Not to be outdone, it is rumoured that Pakistani siren Veena Malik too seems to be harbouring similar plans, but her nationality is coming in her way. Fearing that she might be dubbed being an Inter Services Intelligence’s weapon of mass distraction (WMD), she is lying low about it.
After initial feeling of outrage over ‘desecration’ of our culture and other things, political analysts now seem to veering towards pragmatism. They now say this is not something to be frowned upon, but maybe ‘channelised’ in a proper manner. They feel that these videos would keep our netas sit through the day-to-day boring assembly sessions. One has to admit they are boring with a capital B. It would also keep them from rushing into the well of the house and resort to other stunts. Parliaments and assemblies would not squander precious taxpayers’ money due to disruption of proceedings.
Meanwhile the news has spread far and wide and even porn giants like Hugh Hefner (of Playboy fame) have sent their market analysts to carry out surveys in India. Though the analysts seemed quite bullish about the market, they were concerned about lack of 3G phone skills among the members. “The fact that the member who first got the MMS just handed over the handset to other two, instead for forwarding the MMS, shows they need some training before they become 3G savvy.” But, they hastened to add that these are small obstacles to be crossed to lap up a lucrative market.
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