Whimper Down Under

Let me confess at the outset that I am no cricket buff. I mean, I do not sit glued to Neo Sports to watch how our Men in Blue are doing or listen to what cricket pundits have to say at the end of the day, nor have I bookmarked Cricinfo site on my computer. But since I flip around TV news channels a lot  and the way they cover cricket,  I just can't help its corrosive influence. In fact I chose the headline as a spoof on CNN-IBN's ‘Thunder Down Under’.

The hype in news channels began much before the tour began. The hoopla over the eternal wait for Sachin Tendulkar's 100th century keeps TRPs on the roll. I feel the marketing guys may be secretly wishing that “May this suspense continue - Let him reach his milestone after a drought of 50 innings!”

At the outset I did feel the Aussies were not all that formidable as they were licking their very recent wounds caused by a humiliating defeat to New Zealand in the second Test, and that too in their home soil. For most Aussie blokes the feeling was similar to what cricket fans in India may feel if the Men in Blue lost a series to Kenya at home. These Victoria Bitter guzzling folks may grudgingly accept their neighbour's supremacy in Rugby Union, but definitely not in cricket. And, of course, the records also prove that their cockiness is not out of place - the Kiwis have never tasted a Test victory on the Australian soil since 1985.

The Melbourne Test began on a promising note with youngsters like Umesh Yadav and Ravichandran Ashwin making impressive debuts, though our middle order made us painfully aware of what the expression Achilles’ heel was all about. Each day brought surprises with the Test proving to be a cricket equivalent of neck-and-neck races we witness in Formula One or MotoGPs. No team seemed to have and edge and even on the night before the fourth day I went to sleep feeling it was anybody's match as two days of play were left.

But by the time I switched on the TV next day, the Aussie speedsters had Indian batsmen on the ropes and it was only a matter of time before the Test ended up with a bloody nose for Dhoni's men. But surprisingly the usual lemon squeezing Indian media gave them a kid glove treatment - all thanks to a Bihari politician Rajniti Prasad. His hideous act of tearing the Lokpal Bill in Rajya Sabha diverted the spotlight from the humiliating Melbourne defeat. On hindsight I think it won't be a bad idea for Dhoni and his men to give 10 per cent of their match fee to this Lalu Yadav protege!

The attention later shifted to Sydney and newspapers started predicting that since Tendulkar has a good batting record there, he may have his tryst with destiny on the SCG and even some Aussies like Hussey felt so. Glenn McGrath came off with spoiler remark that the Indians are in for a 4-0 whitewash (he initially said 3-0, assuming it was a 3-Test series) and Tendulkar won't reach his milestone in this series. This set the Indian Twitterati alight with many running down on him and calling him 'pigeon-headed' an allusion to his nickname pigeon.

But as the Test began the Aussie pace legend had the last laugh. On day one itself Team India's fate was sealed. The much famed batting line up meekly capitulated and from then onwards it was one free fall. Like Melbourne this one too got decided on fourth day. Looks like this series is going to be more nightmarish than the England series. Then at least we had Rahul Dravid who did manage to put up a fight, but here he too seems to have joined the ayaram-gayaram batting line up. Same seems to be the case of VVS Laxman, who used to play well in Australia, is now struggling even to reach double figures! And guys like Virender Sehwag and Gautam Gambhir anyway never did well beyond the pitches of Indian subcontinent. Sadly we seem to have totally run out of alternatives.